THE breathtaking filmmaker

October 19, 2006

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Mr. Dong-seok NOH

Director, Boys of Tomorrow (2006)

Discovery of the year: not only the film, but also the MAN 

 

 

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I literally have no time to put a new post,

even no time to have more than 6 hour sleep.

Even though I have many things to say from my stay in Pusan…..sigh.

 

 

Absense

October 13, 2006

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Pusan,  Nov.14~18

 

 

 

Ryu Seung-wan, Hwang Jeong-min, Cho Eun-ji, Kam Woo-seong, Kang Seong-yeon, Ryu Seung-bum, Jung Bo-seok, Park Kwang-jeong……they are fine.

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But why Lee Jun-ki comes in my charge? (sigh)

Oh My Soojeong, Oh My Jini

October 12, 2006

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                  The heartthrobing Jiwon rocks, Again!!

B.I.T.C.H

October 5, 2006

When Jean Choi described herself by that word,

She said, ‘Babe In Total Control of Herself’

I said, ‘Belly Is The very Charm of Her’

Savvy

October 5, 2006

manager.gif    I don’t remember since when, probably since when I started so-called ‘social life’ during my graduate. I didn’t know how to present myself to be acknowledged, only I was still acting like a child who hides behind the wall and giggles with a rat. After numerous office bullshits, I probably realized that I may need to show myself larger than I am. A very little corkiness, little more attitude, much more frown faces, and a lot of bitchy speeches; looking savvy.

 Being-savvy, or trying-to-look-savvy, is absolutely different from Being-capable. When you need to hear from others that you’re savvy person, you don’t need to bring your ability, only to bring it to your posture, physical expression, and some of naughty, arrogant comments on things that are in hand. As usual for the past 6 years, I am still doing that; trying to look savvy. For this time, it is actually triggered so strongly by the incredible ‘non-systematic structure’ of my new work place. None but the ex-secretary general of the festival I worked for the past one and half year looks capable to do anything that is needed to be done by no one but them. Last night, when I had a dinner with the festival director, who works like a sleepwalker in the mist, he asked questiones as many as he could, like he needed some final self-affirmation to hire me. Facing his suspicious gaze plus stupid-sound questions, I just knew by genes that it’s the high time to show my ‘being savvy’, which should be translated into ‘being capable.’  After the inquiry in disguise of dinner in a fancy restaurant, he seemed to be satisfied. Well, that’s it. That’s what being savvy is for, and it worked, again.

 Back home, I’ve been thinking. Why do I keep doing this? My little triumph over the director was not a matter any more. If I am truly capable, a man of ability, I would’ve not needed to learn and practice that scheme. Somebody should’ve known that I am not really savvy, nor capable. And somebody will know sooner or later. This is a cheap way of protection. It may offer me a little raise of money, but not a bit of raise of my self esteem, or of my ‘capability.’ It’s an obssessive counteraction of fear; fear of being revealed. I may need to stop ‘being-savvy thing’ before I finally get a feeling of being naked on the street. Maybe, I would’ve known that. And maybe, I’ve already been naked on the street, only I haven’t realized yet.     

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colonial eyes

September 29, 2006

In heavy pressure of works traffic, I headed to India. Since I’ve travelled only so-called ‘developed’ countries, trip to India (and Malaysia by chance)  is a full of new experiences, including ‘losing watch and no way to find’, ‘being robbed all of liquid by airport police’ – meaning approx.USD600 loss – and ‘two nights flights back home’. Those ‘incidents’ are enough for me to HATE that country (and I really did!), although it may make me a ‘colonial’ from a view of capitalist colonialism.

Yes, I was pissed off, and who would care to be accused as a ‘colonial snob’? But, of course, I do, especially when I faced the gazes from local Indians that I met on the street of the old Delhi. Actually, most of these ‘mutually-gazing’ encounters were blocked by car window) That indecribable mixed feeling of fear, awe, (e)strangeness, guilt, sympathy renders me to acknowlege a huge, powerful attraction – a traveller’s attraction that I’ve never felt ever before. I think there would be a sheer possibility that I MAY become to like travelling; only maybe, because I am still suffering from TVS(traveller’s syndrom) including skin irritation, eating disorder and pimple on the ass.

Gaze. Never had I realized its amazing dynamics. It’s the high time to finish Mary Louise Pratt’s Imperial Eyes.